Was hoping to get back sooner, as always. Alas...

Spent the last month and a half back in Jakarta. Got lots to unpack.

Looking back, that amount of time was probably not ideal. It's so long that you start getting used to it, the feeling of being home. Yet, it's too short to make you feel like you belong – you know you'll leave sooner rather than later. And you won't be back for another year.

Don't get me wrong, I like being home. Seeing friends and family. The people you love. It's just that, living by myself has taught me that having your own space is such a valuable thing. It hadn't occurred to my mind until recently just how much that means.

It might just be the circumstances, but I felt that coming back this year put a lot more strain on me than last. Yet, it also brought so much more joy. The highs were much higher, and the lows... well, I'd rather not talk about them.

I am so, so glad to have so many wonderful people around me.

My family, while not perfect, is something I take for granted sometimes.

I find it hard to make friends as I grow older. Maintaining existing friendships is no small feat, either. I'm very grateful for my friends who reached out and spared some time to catch up. To see familiar faces, in these unfamiliar times, is comforting in ways I cannot feel from anything else.

As for those I didn't get a chance to catch up with, I'm sorry. I wish the circumstances had let me.

For some, I wish I had the courage to ask. After being apart for so long, it's tough. Maybe I'm just a coward, too scared of what would happen. Maybe the pains would cast a shadow over the memories. Maybe I'm just being unreasonable and reading whole pages in between the lines, but something tells me there's some truth to it.

Uncharted paths ahead. It's hard to discern, but there is what looks like a crossroads. Or perhaps, it's just one straight path and I've been spinning in circles. Stumbling back and forth. Unsure to move along or turn around. I wish I could tell, but it's disorientating, and I'm just as stumped.

As I trod, there's this puzzle piece that flew by and hit my head. It stung a little. It fell on top of the other pieces, forming a shape I came across years ago.

I tried piecing it together, but I might've tried too hard this time. In hindsight, it seemed like a bad idea. Given my history, it's probably best left as it was. Perhaps it's for a different set. Unless, for some reason, it pieced itself together somehow. Which is extremely unlikely.

Experience has taught us lessons. How we choose to learn from, and make use of them, is an exercise best left to the reader.

In the mean time, there is enough on the plate, so let's just focus on that.

Just hope everything goes well =)